Enjoy!

Meme translation: “Today we’re going to be making some grey chilaquiles.”

What does it meme? First of all, pitbull faces are the most adorable faces. They’re naturally smiling! I don’t see how anyone could not love them.

But I digress. Ever had chilaquiles? I bet you have, mostly because every foreigner I have ever known, except me, seems to think they’re the best breakfast you could possibly have in Mexico (I myself am an enfrijoladas girl). 

Anyway! When you order chilaquiles, the waiter will always ask if you’d like them “red” or “green,” depending on which salsa you’d like. Green salsa tends to be a bit spicier and sometimes a tad more tart, while the red salsa has a roastier taste to them which I myself prefer.

If you’re a colorblind dog, there’s only one color for salsa: grey. But we’re fine with the dog jumping on the YouTube recipe bandwagon: that smile was made to be seen!

Meme translation: “Things that make Mexicans sad: when your chicharrón gets soggy; when your corn falls; finishing your meal and realizing you didn’t add the avocado; not catching the tamal vendor.”

What does it meme? Mexicans really love their food. We all really love our food, I suppose, but they do have some extra delicious recipes around here. 

So when something happens that makes you unable to eat that food, it’s a sad, sad time.

I’m guessing all the food above is familiar except, perhaps, the first one: chicharrón preparado. Chicharrón is pork rind, a favorite snack around here. In the form above it’s more a gigantic, crispy chip than anything, and all kinds of goodies get put on top of it: mayo, lettuce, tomato, cheese, avocado, and of course a nice and spicy sauce to top it all off. 

But its ultimate fate is similar to that of an ice cream cone: enjoy it in the moment, or it could all come apart in a devastating pile at your feet.

Meme translation: “Miss, could you put on some classical music, please?” “Yes, madam.” (on record cover: “Cumbia Classics”)

What does it meme? Well. She didn’t specify what kind of classical music, I suppose! (Classic and classical are the same word in Spanish, by the way.)

Mexicans will say “It’s a classic!” in the same way we do when referring to any number of things, including music. And for some reason cumbia, a Carribean style of music from Colombia that’s similar to salsa, has a reputation for being less desirable and not as classy; note the spelling with the “k” above.

But that doesn’t stop people from loving it…even at fancy restaurants!

Meme translation: “My trainer:” “Me:”

What does it meme? This is about where we all are on our New Year’s resolutions, yes?

All those chilaquiles, chicharrones, elotes, and tamales add up in the end. But after trying them, most people shout a resounding “worth it!” in response.

Don’t fret, the year’s not over. We’ve still got six months!

Meme translation: “Let whatever has to happen, happen.” *What has to happen happens.* “Me: It can’t be!”*

What does it meme? This is one of my favorite memes ever, because it’s such a perfect (and funny) illustration of the human tendency to feel strong in a moment of resolve. We might “give it to God” or say, “Okay, I’ve done all I can!” and then we start to freak out when the wheels actually start turning.

It’s the bird’s face that really does it for me: that shocked look we get when predictable consequences fall upon us.

It can be, little bird. And it is.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post Laugh along with our Mexican memes of the week appeared first on Mexico News Daily

But the circumstances were bumpy, Mexico-style.

First, there was the question of parking: all tiny, hard-to-get-to spaces. The valet was available, but, my friend explained he was very against someone else driving his car. Successfully parked at last, we finally went in.

Mexico: The land of minorly annoying things

In the cafe at last, the the chairs we were led to wound up being too small for comfort. No matter — we moved to a booth. Then the lunch special was not valid that day. After that, it turned out we needed silverware. By the time the waiter brought out my friend’s soup with his main dish, he’d had it.

“Don’t you think it’s silly to bring out both of these dishes at the same time when the soup should clearly come first?” he snapped.

The waiter didn’t know how to respond, and was almost certainly not paid enough to mount a defense, anyway.

When the grouchy bug bites

Here’s one thing the lifestyle guides don’t always tell you: it’s easy to get grouchy in Mexico.

Oh, let me count the ways!

The electricity, and/or water, and/or internet go out (or all three at once, if you’re particularly unlucky). That happens, of course, but here they keep charging you as if there’d been no break in service at all.

You get excited about trying something on the menu, but the restaurant doesn’t actually have it right then (this happens a lot). Then they don’t have the next thing you want to try, either.

Nobody has change, even for relatively small bills, pretty much ever. Good luck breaking that 500, my friend.

The bathrooms are super tiny and the toilets don’t always flush.

No matter how much you prepare, you’re going to need other documents for your trámite. You’ll definitely have to leave to get them and return another day.

And when you’re grouchy, it’s extra easy to be…not the nicest person. Where does that get us? Grouchy and scowled at, that’s where. “What’s that guy’s problem?” people might think.

Learning to take it easy (for real)

A few weeks ago, Travis Bembenek (Mexico News Daily’s co-owner) wrote about the “Mexican stress test.” In it, he detailed some of the many ways that, if you’re already having a kind of frustrating day, can get you even more frustrated. This particular case had to do with the loss of power. But it can be anything, really.

Most of these opportunities for exasperation result from unmet expectations. Why won’t things or people simply work the way they’re supposed to? We could get mad every hour of every day if we wanted to.

Anyone can be an asshole. But boy, does it stick out when you’re in a country where most people fall over themselves to be polite and accommodating.

So the most urgent question for us is this: how can we adjust our expectations instead of freaking out like we love to do?

Most people tend to describe themselves as easygoing, go-with-the-flow kinds of people. “Walking the walk,” of course, is a different story.

The first step, I believe, is to prepare yourself. People are not going to do things the way you think they should be done. They’re just not.

So keep that in mind, and see how others respond to the same types of setbacks; you might pick up some good tips.

Remember, too, that getting all worked up doesn’t usually accomplish anything, especially here. Mexicans will often say, “He who angers, loses.” In a lot of ways that’s true. You not only “lose” your own cool, but people who could help you are much less likely to help you if you’re rude and huffy about it.

Expressing your anger to strangers is like trying to ram into someone with your parking break on. It’s not going to happen, and it will frustrate you even more.

When we finished our meal, a trickster god had another surprise in store for us: there was a car blocking our exit. A Mexican driver would have pulled out front and made their escape. But my friend didn’t feel confident about avoiding a bump with another car in the tiny space.

So, after a derisive “of course” laugh, I got out and politely asked the valet to move it. After a few minutes, he did, and we dislodged ourselves.

No doubt you’ve experienced some annoying things in Mexico too — have I missed any?

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post When Mexico makes you grumpy appeared first on Mexico News Daily

There was only one problem. The door he’d walked through was my friend’s, and my friend was his girlfriend.

You can probably imagine the breakup: it was messy. It was dramatic. Lies, intrigue, attempts at sweet, sweet revenge. It ran the gamut, and by the time we were “officially” together, it could have inspired a telenovela.

This was the beginning of one fairly normal relationship in Mexico, my friends. Yikes.

All I can say for myself is that we were very young, and that I’d felt fate tugging at me. Indeed, I would not have my beautiful daughter today had the moral character I thought I had turned up.

Bethany Platanella’s great article a while back about dating in Mexico inspired me. Why not talk about the end of romance, too?

Because in Mexico, ending things can get pretty dramatic. I mean, humans as a species love drama and hate being blamed for things (even when they should be). But in as passionate a place as Mexico, those tendencies can get you to some pretty unexpected places!

Breaking Up is Hard to Do ― So Why Do It?

When most people enter a romantic relationship, they do so assuming that it will last for a long, long time. If we didn’t believe that, we’d never do it, after all.

The reality, of course, is that almost all romantic relationships we enter will end at some point. Spoiler alert: it’s not usually because one of you dies.

So how do most of these relationships in Mexico end?

Many of them come to end as a result of infidelity, or suspicions of infidelity, or just plain jealousy. Mexican men, especially, are not known for their sexual loyalty. It’s a stereotype that not all fit, of course. But it’s common and widespread enough that the trope of “the other family” is still alive and well. I can’t imagine how anyone could hide something like that in our surveillance society!

As you might guess, women are generally quicker to forgive cheating than men. Often, this is for practical rather than sentimental reasons, as women tend to be less economically independent. The opposite, of course, is not often true. What kind of macho forgives such an insult? Not many, is the answer.

As Platanella wrote, trust tends to spring from cheating opportunity rather than behavior. And unless you’re with your significant other all the time, well… Fidelity is hard to prove.

Another reason for breakups? In a culture where passion rules the day, some people are just plain crazy when it comes to romance. You guessed it ― crazy, usually, with jealousy. There’s also a tendency for abusive men especially to accuse their exes of being crazy. New partners mostly believe them ― oh, the stories! ― until they themselves turn out to be the “crazy ex.”

Who’d have thought there’d be so many crazy people out there, eh? When crazy means “they didn’t think I was right all the time,” quite a lot, it turns out.

Closing Ranks

When a romantic relationship in Mexico ends for whatever reason, all bets are off.

Mutual friends need to choose a side fast. Ex-partners are often deleted and blocked on social media. The friends above might serve as spies, and new relationships will be bitterly criticized and scrutinized. It’s a delicious process if the heat’s not on you.

As you might have guessed by now, “staying friends” after a relationship in Mexico is rare indeed.

Worse, divorce can only happen in one of two ways. You can come to an agreement through a state-sponsored mediation service, or you must sue your ex for divorce.

Take a wild guess about which of those options is more common.

And if the couple is older and has children, things can get really complicated. First, you aren’t allowed to divorce until the state is satisfied regarding the arrangements for their care. Unfortunately, that’s usually the least of it.

Parental alienation and even kidnappings in these cases are not unheard of. The justice system is not always just, and anger toward one’s ex has ruined lives. The stories I’ve heard and witnessed among friends would make your skin crawl.

People around here might be slow to anger, but when they do, watch out. I’ll never forget the words of a friend when I was trudging through the indignities of divorce. She thought I was being much too accommodating, and was exasperated at my unwillingness to strike like a snake. “I’d take everything from him; even the damn smile off of his face.”

Come back to me, baby!

You’d think that after all that drama, ex-partners would want to avoid each other forever. But in more cases than you might suspect, you’d be wrong.

Get a few sad songs and some alcohol in their system, and watch the “Baby, come back” messages bloom like roses. Gifts, promises to change, a heightened sense of romance and urgency ― it’s all intoxicating.

In the end, of course, true change is hard-won, and uncommon enough for people not to believe in it. Maya Angelou had it right: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

The End of the Affair

The ending of my own marriage was not easy. If the beginning had been fun and exciting, the ending was an absolute dumpster fire. It was not quiet, or chill. It took so much longer than I thought it would. Worst of all, our kid was devastated. Kids are made to create drama, not live through it.

But we made it. We’re not what you’d call friends; we cooperate because we have to. We were both good enough people, or not psychopathic enough, to not try to take the other for everything we could. Our kid is okay.

With my current partner ― we are not married ― we’ve got a plan. If we get married (it’s true, I don’t learn), it will be with a clear prenup. “Better to create these emergency triggers now when we love and want the best for each other,” my partner says.

Fantastic idea.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post Trouble in paradise: What happens when you break up in Mexico? appeared first on Mexico News Daily

But even the loveliest matches don’t love and admire each other 100% of the time.

Sometimes, we downright annoy each other, or worse, offend each other!

When Not to Be Offended

As is often the case, simple misunderstandings can lead to some Big Feelings. When it comes to gringos in Mexico, there are some pretty predictable circumstances. But fear not! Behold, reasons for you to not suspect you’re getting especially raw treatment:

When you feel like the entire country is conspiring to not let you get anything done “on time.”

Don’t worry! That is not what’s happening.

Because, as you’ve discovered if you’ve spent any amount of time here, rushing is no national value. Things get started when they get started and they get done when they get done. Chill. If you’re always in a rush, then this is not your perfect match. Swipe left and go find yourself a nice little town in Germany.

This includes parties, by the way. People will show up an hour or three later, and it doesn’t occur to anyone to apologize for it. Why? Because the important part of it is being there (and by the way, you can likely stay until the sun comes up).

What offends them: Want to get a Mexican as annoyed with you as you might be feeling? Show your impatience, and be loud and obvious about it.

We gringos tend to be a little obsessive about wanting all the information we can get before making a single move.

Unfortunately, that’s not always possible around here.

Want to get the official scoop on a specific neighborhood? Too bad. Want to have the complete list of items you need for a dreaded trámite before arriving? Ha! You’re funny. Think you can have a look at the dogs up for adoption at the local shelter online before arriving? Oh, honey.

If you’re going to hang out in Mexico, bringing along your sense of adventure is essential. Preparation is for suckers, and plus, it makes things less fun! You’ll find out when you get there.

What offends them: You treat someone like an idiot for not knowing what they “should” ahead of time. Obsessively researching everything before diving in just ain’t their style.

When you’ve got noisy neighbors, there’s no “beat ’em.” You can either join ’em or die mad about it.

Mexico is not a quiet place. If you want a quiet place, this is not the country for you. But look: no one is trying to bother you by making noise. We’re all just used to there being a lot of noise a lot of the time; it’s part of life, and most people don’t notice it.

You getting upset about noisiness seems about as logical as getting upset that it’s windy. Okay, it might be annoying, but what are any of us going to do about it?

It’s true, you can call the police. Some people do, actually. If the noise is above the level of, say, a Metallica concert, they come and might tell them to pipe down. Then they’ll leave, and the volume will go back up. Get some earplugs?

@delacruz20340 #secomprancolchones #conbuenhumor ♬ sonido original – Delacruz20340

What offends them: People coming to visit or live in Mexico on purpose and then complaining. One of the most popular and endearing phrases in Mexico: “Si ya saben cómo soy, ¿para qué me invitan?” (You know what I’m like, so why’d you even invite me?)

Happily Ever After, Anyway

But like I said before: there’s no such thing as the perfect pair. And there are plenty of things to love and admire about each other. So try not to get too worked up about things, my fellow countrymen.

And if you do, give yourself a nice time out. Preferably with a beer (or a shot of tequila if it’s been a particularly rough day). Say what you will about casual alcoholism; at least it’s relaxing. Invite a friend!

Just don’t expect them to arrive on time.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post Should I get offended? appeared first on Mexico News Daily

Sit back, grab a cold, cold drink and enjoy this week’s edition!

Meme translation: “Oof it’s hot, I’m going to turn on the fan.” “The fan…”

What does it meme? It is hot, y’all. If you live in Mexico in a place where it’s usually nice enough of the time that no one installs air conditioners, then you, like me and many others, are hardcore suffering right now. 

Chances are you’ve also discovered that turning a fan on in a non-airconditioned environment does not actually do a whole lot to move things around…especially if you’re on a top floor.

As of this writing, we’re in the third of five predicted heat waves. I’ve stopped fantasizing about when it will end and have simply resigned myself, like the famous meme of the dog having coffee at a table while surrounded by flames…to having coffee at a table while surrounded by flames.

(A note on the “oof” instead of “but” in my translation by the way: when Mexicans want to emphasize an exclamation, they’ll sometimes use “pero” at the beginning to express their surprise, or in this case, being suddenly fed up. We don’t use it for the same purpose in English, hence the adjustment!)

Meme translation: “Coffee first… I’ll deal with my problems afterwards.”

What does it meme? Not to keep going on and on about the heat, but really, folks – that level of discomfort is what it feels like, and I identify with the woman in this picture more than any others in any of today’s memes: sometimes you have to accept that there are things that suck, and just get on with it.

I might be dripping in sweat during every moment of the day, but at least I have coffee, water, and a working coffee maker. It literally gets me out of bed in the mornings.

Meme translation: “Just imagine I marry some dude who doesn’t know how to cook. What am I going to eat?”

What does it meme? One of my favorite styles of humor is when sexism is flipped on its head to expose its silliness (for more of this silliness, check out the social media pages of Man Who Has It All). A friend in one of my “mom chat” groups sent it, and I crack up every time I see it. 

And in my case, this is, unfortunately, a problem. I can spend hours and hours cleaning, organizing, decorating…I will get on my knees and scrub under the sink and think nothing of it. But I hate hate hate anything to do with food preparation. I am a princess: I simply want food to appear in front of me when I’m hungry and have absolutely nothing to do with getting it there.

Alas, I must eat, and my own partner, while also very clean and organized and a hard physical worker — our house always looks fabulous — is not a natural food preparer, either.

We do our best to plan and usually have at least one decent meal, but left to our own devices, we’re like two six-year-olds wandering around the pantry looking for crackers or something when we suddenly, seemingly unpredictably, feel hungry.

Meme translation: “I don’t know if the sun is too bright or if there’s a surprise party for the bus driver.”

What does it meme? I added this (obviously) for adorableness because the idea of passengers throwing a surprise party for a bus driver makes me smile real big. Remember in the late aughts when flashmobs suddenly got really popular? 

Seriously, let’s organize this.

Sadly, the above picture is almost certainly not of passengers planning a surprise party, though I can imagine the surprise(ing dismay) on the faces of passengers already boarded when everyone pops out from the shade…especially if they’re standing up! (Have y’all seen how many people can pack onto a bus in Mexico City? It’s downright grotesque.)

Meme translation: “I don’t know if she went to kindergarten or to work at a construction site.”

What does it meme? Another “No se si…” meme, I just realized. No matter, I’m leaving it in here because it’s funny!

If you’ve got a kid in school or have a kid in general, chances are they come back pretty messy. Fun fact: there’s a kindergarten here in Xalapa where their uniforms are white. White. You can imagine all the bleach employed to get those suckers clean.

Also, a note on my translation above: “echar colado” is technically a little more specific than “work at a construction site”; literally, it’s to construct the roof of a building, and it’s a very specific process here that involves a lot of concrete (check out the video in the link for a play-by-play). Mexico’s got some Habitat for Humanity organizations if you want to try your hand at it at some point!

Meme translation: “Dear diary…damn.”

What does it meme? Okay, so this is not totally in Spanish, and the guy in the picture looks more like your stereotypical “cholo”  the word for a specific subculture of Mexican-Americans in the US who are very urban and very cooler than the rest of us.

The “chale” part was what cracked me up. It’s kind of a defeatist-sounding version of “damn,” like what you’d say when you’re really disappointed in something, like “Oh, man,” with a defeated sigh. Another good translation is one of those smacking/tongue-clicking things you do with your mouth that basically means, “Dang it, that’s so disappointing.”

The good thing about chale is that, though it might signify a setback, it doesn’t have to mean defeat!

Sometimes, though, you’ve just got to give the constant positivity a rest and take a minute to let yourself go, “chale” with a long, disappointed sigh (I’ve actually been doing this daily when I look at the weather forecast and see there is no rain or relief from the heat in the next 10 days).

Meme translation: Six pictures are worth…6,000 words, right? Note to self: don’t forget to bill this wordcount to the paper. 

What does it meme? In three rows, a summary of the favorite wrappings of Mexican foods:

In the north, of course, we have the exquisite flour tortilla. Though we’re all about the corn tortillas where I live further south, I’ll admit to sometimes missing those soft, buttery bites. *chef’s kiss*

In the middle of the country, mainly Mexico City — there are SO many memes about this — they love themselves a good bolillo, which is the kind of panadería staple you see in the picture. How many memes have I seen positively about every food, including pizza, popsicles, and complete sandwiches, being put in between two halves of a bolillo? Too many to count. They’re okay, I guess, but nothing, like, out of this world, I’d say. It could be my Southern Mexican prejudices talking. 

Finally, the southern tamal. Down here they’re called “rancheros” (country tamales, I guess?), and unlike other tamales you might be familiar with, these have a softer consistency than the others that are much drier. They are delicious and hands down the best tamales. I’m willing to fight people on this, by the way.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post Mystical Mexican memes to move the morose appeared first on Mexico News Daily

And he barely speaks a word of Spanish.

The clueless know-it-all

Now, I’m no one to be criticizing others: I’ve got plenty of my own conceit when it comes to Mexico.

But my goodness, even I know my limits!

I had a friend here in Mexico for a while who was the exact person I described above. And before I get into it all, let me first state this: he was a very nice man.

He was also very, very clueless. But part of the gift of being a man from the United States is a kind of unending confidence that most of us can only dream of. At least he gave most of his explanations and analyses in English, so he probably wasn’t understandable enough to bother too many Mexicans.

I always wonder about these types, who remind me of the Mexicans I’ve met who claim that English is super easy. They understand it perfectly, they insist; they just have a little trouble speaking it. 

But anyway, look, buddy. If you don’t speak the language, I’m not following you around the country, okay?

The actual know-it-all

On the other end of the spectrum, we find people who actually do know it all, and like to tell you about it. A lot.

One fellow I know who’s been here for many years consistently speaks to me as if I’m just off the boat. He throws out folkloric phrases, many of them kind of rude. He then translates and explains them, kind of like my meme pieces, only unasked for.

Want a pro tip for all of us know-it-alls out there? Don’t offer your “expertise” unless asked. Definitely don’t assume you’re the most interesting person in the room. And my goodness, don’t explain Mexico to Mexicans.

What do Mexicans say?

Mexicans, for the most part, let this type of person be. As a whole, they tend to not get worked up about things. They let people behave as if they know everything they pretend to know. They might whisper a “qué pendejo” — what an ass — out of earshot later, it’s true. But they seem to be missing that swell of righteous indignation that so naturally comes to Anglos. They don’t let it keep irritating them after the fact.

Besides, Mexicans have their own version of this. It’s usually some variation of “I don’t bother speaking English because I don’t like it.” Related is the phrase “Well, I understand English perfectly, it’s just tiresome to speak.” A relative of my ex-husband gave me an even more preposterous explanation. “I only understand proper, British English,” he said — in Spanish, obviously. 

See? We can all be asses, and it’s fine. But that doesn’t mean it’s something we should strive for.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post The American Know-It-All appeared first on Mexico News Daily

You might have heard people declare themselves “Team Calor” or “Team Frío,” but I’m neither. Put me in any conditions that aren’t in the range of 19-24 degrees centigrade with a slight breeze and perhaps a bit of refreshing afternoon rain, and I’m 100% complaining about it.

Are the days of comfort long gone?

I blame the root of my discomfort on the fact that I grew up in a place where every building and dwelling had climate control, and have long theorized that the comforts one enjoyed as a child will always be bitterly missed if taken away later in life.

The absence of climate control where I live hasn’t been an issue. My city, in particular, is well-known for its mild temperatures — not too hot, not too cold — daily afternoon showers and evening fog, perfect for a warm cup of coffee or hot chocolate to go with your pan. 

But along with the rest of Mexico, things are changing. Even around this usually drizzly cloud forest, we’ve had forest fires. Forest fires! I’ve never even tried to build a backyard campfire in my city because the wood is forever damp, and now it’s all kindling? Esto no pinta bien.

If you’ve been following the news, you know how dire the situation is: we’ve had heat wave after heat wave hit us over the past two months, and there’s seemingly no end in sight. I check my weather app hopefully and desperately daily, but the 10-day forecast shows only bright, sunny days, all between 30-34 degrees Celcius. And as you can probably guess — and have likely witnessed if you live here — the lack of rain is doing nothing for our water shortage problem. In my city, we’re rationing, so each “zone” gets water pumped to them once every five days.

We’re dirty and our plants are dying

Yikes.

So what’s causing all of this?

It’s true that spring is typically the hottest season of the year, at least in the southern half of the country; this has been true for a long time. Counterintuitively, for most of us who come from north of the Mexican border, summer is the time when it cools down, as it brings the beginning of the rainy season.

But things are different now. I’ve experienced Xalapa during the springtime for 22 years now, and can say this with certainty: the infernal heat (and drought, before unheard of around here) that falls on us each spring is becoming more intense and hanging around much longer than it used to. A week without rain used to be unimaginable. It’s now been two full months.

Much of Mexico is currently trapped in a “heat dome,” which is as miserable as it sounds: the atmospheric pressure is essentially trapping the heat around us (think of it as an extended, cozy snuggle-fest with Satan, or all of being, basically literally, trapped in a boiling pot together). We’ve also got a La Niña cycle at play, which tends to warm things up in general as well.

Oh, and monkeys too

And let’s not forget our own collective contributions: climate change is coming for us all, and is being felt worldwide somewhere between much quicker than the mildly optimistic predictions by climate scientists and slightly slower than the 2004 disaster movie The Day After Tomorrow. Back when they were talking about an increase of 1-3 degrees over the next century, it didn’t sound that dire. We didn’t think about that having actual effects on the weather as it does, preferring instead to imagine someone simply upping the thermostat a couple of imperceptible notches.

Isn’t this the way of humans? Spin our thumbs and whistle while allowing the seeds of our own destruction to be planted, then act shocked when those inevitable fruits arrive? 

These are the fruits, people. It’s probably not going to get better at this point, but it can definitely get way, way worse. Are we sufficiently panicked now? Monkeys are dying. Monkeys. In case you forget, we are also, basically, monkeys, and the heat has already come for plenty of us, too. 

What to do?

For now, emergency measures: take some cold showers, drink lots and lots of water, be out of the heat as much as you can. If you don’t have air conditioning, as many Mexican homes do not, be strategic about air movement: keep the curtains closed when the sun is beating down, lest you create an oven within an oven of your house. When it cools off at night, open the windows to let a bit of freshness in.

You’ll likely need to do your best to conserve the rationed water, as well. If you wash clothes twice a week, make it once. Try not to flush the toilet more than necessary. You might need to let a few outside plants go if they can’t be brought in and need water every day.

Will our new president, unlike her predecessor, privilege the environment over Mexico’s state-owned electrical company? Will she be the harbinger of a true transformación of Mexico’s energy and conservation strategy?

I sure do hope so. 

In the meantime, grab some icepacks and hunker down. We’ve still got a ways to go.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

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La cucaracha, la cucaracha

Ya no puede caminar

Porque no tiene

Porque le falta

Marijuana pa’ fumar

In English “The cockroach, the cockroach / Can’t walk anymore / Because it doesn’t have / Because it’s missing / Marijuana to smoke.”

The song is only five or six centuries old — the above lyrics were popularized by the Mexican Revolution and are about a century old. We’re not even 100% sure where it came from, except that it’s always been sung in Spanish! But the poorly-understood cockroach has been around since the time of the dinosaurs. What’s weird is that there aren’t more songs written about it!

Unfortunately for these critters, the song — often sung as political satire, the lyrics adapted according to the current circumstance — has always been more popular than cockroaches themselves.

A few weeks ago, I went to a language exchange meeting in my city. My Spanish is pretty close to perfect, but I’m an extrovert and wanted to talk to some people I didn’t already know and hear their stories.

One guy I met, a güero from Mexico City that I’d have sworn was my own paisano if I hadn’t later heard him speak, had a lot of tattoos, which included a handful of cockroaches crawling up his arm. Obviously, I had to ask.

He turned out to be a veterinarian with quite a lot of appreciation and respect for this lowly creature: “Cockroaches are incredible. And they’re fantastic mothers, too.”

Well! Who knew? This guy did, apparently. 

The same cannot be said for most people in Mexico, which is understandable. Cockroaches look gross like slimy specks of dirt, only bigger and scarier. They eat the stuff we want to eat and the stuff we’ve deemed way too gross to eat and hang out in gross places, peeking out from around corners in the creepiest ways. They move faster than they should be able to. They fly. 

If there’s one thing Mexicans pride themselves on regarding their homes, it’s that they’re clean. Not merely dusted or organized, but majorly sprayed, mopped and scrubbed with Fabuloso and especially bleach: nothing’s clean if it hasn’t been bathed in bleach. The kitchen is wiped down daily, and bathrooms tend to get a deep-cleaning at least twice a week.

So what are cockroaches even finding in our perfectly sterilized homes?

The very few species that humans actually come into contact with have mostly come in to cool off when it’s super hot outside. And who can blame them? Who among us hasn’t popped into a Starbucks during these relentless heat waves for a bit of a break?

But let’s assume that my vet friend knows what he’s talking about and dig a bit deeper — get it? — into cockroach appreciation: they’re good pollinators, and are an important part of the food chain for animals we do like, like birds and bats.  We like bats, right?

They’re actually quite clean themselves, constantly grooming: think about a cat, and multiply that by about 10. If they’re causing allergies for you, it’s because they’ve inadvertently stepped in an allergen in your home already and accidentally dragged it out the few feet they’re able to.

They have feelings and individual personalities, and they’re smarter than we give them credit for. And here’s what my new friend was talking about: the mothers often raise their young all together, like a little roach commune or preschool. They’re social animals, preferring to eat with others even if it means eating less themselves. Take that, capitalism! The roaches are onto you.

Certain species mate for life, chewing off each others’ wings in a kind of gruesome display of wedding bands. “Sorry ladies, I’m taken.”

I won’t scowl at anyone working feverishly to get rid of them. I myself am merciless with the ants that appear in my home in the hot weather, wiping them out daily like an angry and tireless god. But at the very least, let’s not be so arrogant as to believe that we’re the only animals around here that matter in the grand scheme of things.

I asked my new friend what he would do in the event of an infestation. “Oh, my cats take care of them.”

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post There’s nothing more Mexican than a visit from ‘la cucaracha’ appeared first on Mexico News Daily

Dehydrate AND laugh with this week’s collection:

Meme translation: “If you’re not happy, then you have failed as a worm.”

What does it meme? Spoiler alert: Paulo Coelho (famed Brazilian lyricist and novelist) didn’t really say this. In fact, I’m not sure he even spoke Spanish. Such is the internet – brimming with often very untrue, but often very funny, content.

Anyway! Notice how “feliz” (happy) and “lombriz” (worm) rhyme in Spanish? “Feliz como lombriz” (Happy as a worm) is the Spanish equivalent to the cutesy “Happy as a clam” in English. So unless you want to fail as a worm – and I don’t believe you do – it’s time to get happy, STAT!

Meme translation: “I declare war against my worst enemy, which is… (clockwise from top) my boss; CFE (the state electricity company); the heat; the bill collector (an informal role by someone who sells on credit or in payments and then comes to collect periodically); love; my neighbor; his damned little “friend”; Coppel (a popular department store in Mexico that gives terrible opportunities for buying on credit).”

What does it meme? Well. It seems we’re all a little irritable lately, and unfortunately, have plenty of reasons to feel that way. And hey, I’ll also admit it: sometimes you’re just in a bad mood and whatever happens to pop up in front of you when you’re feeling that way becomes The Absolute Worst. 

What’s got us irritable? Spin the wheel and find out!

Meme translation: “Mexicans trying tacos anywhere else in the world.”

What does it meme? Mexicans are not known for their pretentiousness, but I think most people would admit that they’ve earned the right to be absolutely intolerable snobs about tacos. The man in the photo is dressed as Anton Ego, the infamously dissatisfied food critic from Disney’s “Ratatouille.”

Now that a taco stand has won a Michelin star, there will probably be no living with them on this subject.

If you really want to get a Mexican going, tell them about your favorite Taco Bell order. If you want to see their head explode, talk about how much you appreciate Taco Bell as a seller of Authentic Mexican Food and wonder aloud why they don’t open any stores in Mexico.

Meme translation: “Oh, how I’d love to be a dried-out lime just hanging out in a nice, cool, fridge.”

What does it meme? Has the life of a dried-out lime ever looked so good? I’ve found myself lingering lately in front of my own refrigerator, basking in the cool air. 

And that’s about as good as it gets right now in the many areas of Mexico that don’t have air conditioning, because it is hot, hot, hot with no end (so far) in sight. When you start fantasizing about being a cold piece of fruit hurrying toward decomposition, you know things are getting intolerable.

Meme translation: “When you’re over 30 and you prefer to party at someone’s home, with music at a reasonable volume so you can chat.” 

What does it meme? Last weekend I went out for a “girls’ night” with some friends. We’d originally planned on a low-key bar not too far from my house, but then someone noticed they’d be having a show, with a cover no less: 100 pesos to listen to a Norwegian folk music soloist on a Saturday night.

We decided to avoid the “Midsommar” vibes and went to an Irish pub instead. And let me tell you: after a while there, we were dying for Norwegian folk music at a reasonable volume. Though we’d sat outside to avoid the noise, it was all in vain: after the soccer game (which had attracted many very loud fans), there was a Metallica cover band. 

Next time, we’re going to a friend’s house.

Meme translation: “I’m up, God. What time are you helping me, or how’s this going down?”

What does it meme? There’s a cute little rhyme in Spanish: “A quien madruga, Dios le ayuda” (God helps those who wake up early).

For this little chick unaccustomed to waking up early, the effort should result in some pretty immediate results. I especially love the phrase, “o cómo va a estar la onda,” as it’s so casual, as if it had been a deal struck the night before with one’s buddy.

Good luck, little guy! I hope someone gets back to you with that help.

Meme translation: “The ocean might have me beat on water, but it’s got nothing on me when it comes to salt.”

What does it meme? To be “salty” in Spanish is not quite the same as in English: here in Mexico, it means that you’re unlucky…the saltier you are, the unluckier you are. Indeed, “más salado que el mar” (saltier than the ocean) is a phrase I’ve heard several times.

The other phrase you’re probably not used to, “me la pela” means, in this case, that there’s no competition – that little doggie is the clear front-runner! 

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

The post The most ‘chistoso’ Mexican memes you missed this week appeared first on Mexico News Daily

And that’s besides all the activists and journalists.

Sadder still is the fact that the killers are pretty much completely getting away with it. This fact that leads us to a painful truth: the people who say they’re in charge are not usually the people who actually are in charge. 

Why not?

Why can’t the government control the violence?

Like a lot of things, it’s complicated. But I think our editor Kate Bohné put it very well in her Substack essay, Bullets, not hugs. When democracy truly came to Mexico (with Vicente Fox’s election in 2000), it disturbed the uneasy, corruption-enabled peace that had been in place for decades. It also failed to provide a mechanism for rooting out the small-time players of “the old guard” at the municipal and law enforcement levels: “This shift exposed the “gray zones” of criminal-state collusion to the pressures of election cycles, which at a municipal level, are frequent (mayoral terms are only for three years). Under the one-party system, these local arrangements among cops, officials and smugglers were somewhat stable, but with the end of PRI hegemony, they became fractured.”

AMLO’s famous phrase of “hugs, not bullets” is not turning out to be, in the end, a winning strategy. I, like many, gave it the benefit of the doubt: if Calederón’s strategy of targeting the powerful cartels with everything we had led to an unprecedented time of violence in Mexico, perhaps a softer approach was in order. The idea was to take a pro-social approach to keeping young people from joining cartels in the first place by offering them plenty of opportunity to be successful otherwise, and meanwhile, to not take a swinging bat to the hornet’s nest of well-armed and well-organized criminal gangs the way Calderón did.

Unfortunately, most analysts have concluded that the result has mostly been what looks an awful lot like warm embraces for the bad guys and bullets for everyone else. I think we can all agree that this is not a winning strategy. 

The problem isn’t a nationwide one

These problems, of course, are localized: there are very safe places in Mexico and there are very unsafe places in Mexico, the same way you’d find in any other country.

But the fact that cartels feel so emboldened in their efforts to control elections on the local level is disturbing at worst, terrifying at best: they are extremely well-organized, and the fact they’ve been so successful in eliminating so many candidates they consider unsatisfactory certainly makes it seem like they’re two very big steps ahead on all fronts.

Terror sucks, but terror is extremely effective.

And it’s not that people don’t care. It’s simply that the problem seems too big to handle. How does one drain the ocean we’re all swimming in of sharks? (Actually, I need a better analogy, as sharks aren’t even close to being as dangerous as the cartels are…humans, maybe?).

On a national level, Mexico just doesn’t have the resources to send in a literal army to protect small-town mayorial candidates; and even if they did, there’s been plenty of documented collusion between criminal groups and the armed forces, anyway. It’s not that all of them are corrupt; most are not. But as we all know, it doesn’t take a majority to poison a group.

Are expats affected by any of this?

Mostly not much; as foreigners, we’re barred from participating in politics anyway, and most of us gravitate toward communities with reputations for safety when deciding where to visit or to live already. But it does mean that we need to make a point of not being naïve when evaluating the risks of certain actions. As a handful of unlucky foreigners and quite a lot of Mexicans can attest to, the bad guys here do not mess around.

So when you’re “doing your research,” make sure you’re also paying special attention to things like the reputations of certain driving routes if you decide to come by car (which I would not recommend, though I know plenty of people who have without a hitch). Keep your embassy’s emergency contact number on speed dial, and maybe even permanently share your location with someone back home. 

I’m not saying that you need to live in fear; what I am saying is that you need to remember that the justice system in Mexico is very, and perhaps extremely, different than the system you’re likely used to, and unnecessary risks should be 100% avoided.

Much to your shock, I am sure, I personally have not yet figured out a safe and fair path forward for so many swaths of Mexico to get out from under the drug cartels’ thumbs. 

And anyway, Mexico’s ongoing security issues are for Mexico to solve, and I do believe that this will happen, especially as more opportunities for individuals and the country as a whole open up.

In the meantime: have fun, yes, but stay safe, and remember that part of the fun and the risk of traveling is the fact that you simply can’t be in charge of everything that happens: be strategic about the risks you decide to take.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.

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